


Within those two hearts of yours

by HelgaHeason



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: A LOT of Angst, Angst, Based off the 'The Timeless Children' next time trailer, Cause that's where all good fics come from, Crying, Emotional Manipulation, F/M, Feels, Gallifrey, I Don't Even Know, I'm Bad At Tagging, Koschei attempts to comfort, The Master Has Issues (Doctor Who), The names Theta and Koschei are used, Thirteen needs a hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-24
Updated: 2020-02-24
Packaged: 2021-02-28 01:21:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,056
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22885474
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HelgaHeason/pseuds/HelgaHeason
Summary: There’s something that the Elders of Gallifrey have kept hidden for millennia. Something that made Koschei destroy Arcadia in his anger. Something Theta doesn’t yet know - something that will eventually kill her if she never finds out. Devastated by the sudden loss of her beloved Golden Trio, Theta agrees to let Koschei show her what she too has been lied to about - and more truths emerge in the aftermath.
Relationships: Thirteenth Doctor/The Master (Dhawan)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 59





	Within those two hearts of yours

**Author's Note:**

> I was watching the next time trailer for ‘The Timeless Children’, and this idea jumped out to me out of the blue. It’s based off the bit where the Spymaster says “this is going to hurt”.
> 
> It is dark and angsty, so be warned.
> 
> (The bits in bold and italics are Thirteen writing a letter to the Golden Trio.)

**_I’m sorry._ **

“You always come back, Doctor.”

Theta barely stifled a scream as a harsh pain rippled through her head, tearing a choked cry from her throat.  
“Yes, I do.”

“Why is that?”  
Koschei’s voice was oddly soft. Delicate. Gentle. Almost how it was back at the Academy. 

“I can’t let anyone destroy the universe, or rearrange the peace and order.”  
She gritted her teeth as her head throbbed again, memories flooding through her and erasing everything she had previously known; previously taken as fact from the Academy.  
“Not even you, Koschei.”

**_I’m so sorry._ **

Koschei’s eyes softened at the edges, the coldness fading slightly. He hadn’t heard her use that name in years. Decades, infact - no, centuries. All were wrong; he hadn’t heard it in millennia. A name forgotten amongst the stars, left to die as he had been, outcast and alone.

“Do you see now, what they hid from us?”  
He changed the subject rather abruptly, and this time Theta really did scream, falling to the ground with a painful sounding ‘thud’. He barely blinked.  
“Do you see it now, Theta?”

She hissed at hearing her name from him, and cried in pain when she tried to get up. He leaned against the glass, and tapped a panel on the wall, finally freeing the agonised Theta, who did her best to run. 

**_I let you all down, I betrayed your trust, and…_ **

“What… What did you do to me?”  
Theta struggled against Koschei, but he’d always been stronger. He wasn’t even trying, not really. He held onto her wrists, gentler than he would with her little pets, and sighed a little. He let go of her wrists when she stopped struggling, and smirked.

“I showed you the truth.”  
His voice was now emotionless; cold and empty.  
“I showed you what they hid from us.”

Theta gasped, falling to the floor again. Her knees impacted the stone with a dull ‘thunk’, and by god it hurt, but it was manageable. This time, she got up quicker, easier, and didn’t try running.

“Why did you burn them? Was it that bad?”  
Her voice was hoarse; shallow and scared. If he’d burnt the Time Lords due to this, god only knew what he’d do to her.

**_I am so, so sorry._ **

Koschei’s lips curled upwards in a cruel, sadistic smile.  
“Oh, no… I burnt them all because it was fun.”

Tears stung Theta’s eyes, the pressure building against her already bad headache, and she looked down. She tried to push Koschei away, but again, he had always been stronger - so she left it. He held onto her, gently, making an attempt at being reassuring.

“Shhhh. Don’t mess your pretty face up.”  
He paused, and blinked.  
“The sacrificial lamb… Now isn’t that cute?”

Theta finally managed to push him away at that, hot tears streaking down her cheeks.  
“You killed them.”

**_If you can hear me in high heaven…_ **

Koschei shook his head.  
“No, that was the Cybermen.”  
He paused, and bit his lower lip, before sighing and letting his shoulders sag a little.  
“I maaaayyyy have helped them a little, though.”

Theta made a venomous noise in the back of her throat, and Koschei instinctively held his hands up.

“I only told them where your friends were hiding. I didn’t tell them anything else.”  
He paused again, and made a ‘fair enough’ face.  
“Although I suppose that’s all they’d need.”

“Is this your plan?”  
Theta’s voice was the angriest Koschei had ever heard - and he found a sadistic sort of pleasure in hearing it.  
“Is this your idea of getting me to join you - killing my friends, destroying our home, so that I have nowhere else to go?”

**_… I’m safe, don’t worry about me._ **

Koschei nodded, very slowly.  
“Heavy is the head that wears the crown, eh?”

Theta made a strangled noise in the back of her throat, and fell to the floor again.

“Oh, dear. It seems I may have pushed you a little too far with that memory finder. You seem to be having lapses in balance and coordination.”  
He seemed wholly unconcerned, unbothered. Theta could probably just die for good infront of him and the only thing he’d truly care about was where he was going to put her body.

**_Not where I wanted to be, but…_ **

“Surrender, Theta.”  
His voice was in her mind now, and she opened her eyes to find herself alone in her TARDIS, lying down on the floor. Had he brought her here?

“No.”

Silence.

“Surrender, and I will ensure that you are safe for as long as we both shall live.”

“No.”

A growl. A very loud, harsh growl. Theta didn’t blink.

“Fine. Have it your way.”

**_… But I can work with this._ **

A loud knock came on the door, and Theta bit her lip. To open, or not to open - that was the question. Against her better judgement, her impulsivity won over, and she flung open the doors to come face-to-face with a Cyberman - one she knew to have been Yasmin Khan. She slammed the doors again, and slid down on them, breathing rapidly and hearts pounding at the speed of sound. Perhaps the speed of light, millions of light-years away from Earth, where all this had started.

**_I failed you. All of you. But, I will avenge you._ **

She picked herself up, not wishing to cry again, and took off to the other side of Gallifrey, inside the ruins of Arcadia. Koschei was there, waiting - of course he was - with a smug smile on his face.

“An entire half hour earlier than I expected. Are you feeling alright?”

Theta did not respond, preferring instead to slap her old friend and enemy, and blinked when she realised just how many Cybermen were invading and desecrating Gallifrey.

“You were right about the Elders. They hid things from us - they hid who we are from us. But they didn’t deserve to be burnt like their lives meant nothing.”

Koschei just smirked.  
“Oh?”

Theta walked away, and the Cybermen walked in. As they descended upon a now hapless Koschei, Theta sank back against the doors in her TARDIS. He’d live. He’d stay a Time Lord, he’d never even get converted - he’d be just fine. 

It was going to have to do for now.

**_I promise, on both of my hearts._ **

**Author's Note:**

> If the BBC won’t let Thirteen have a good old breakdown after everything that’s happened this series, I will. They keep breaking the poor woman more and more with each episode.
> 
> “I’ll give you an arc,” says Chibnall.  
> You’ve fucked up a perfectly good Time Lord, is what you’ve done. Look at her, she’s got anxiety.
> 
> /////
> 
> I’m on Twitter and I take fic commissions, DM me here:  
> \- [Helga Heason](https://twitter.com/HelgaHeason)
> 
> Help support my work by buying me a coffee here:  
> \- [Helga Heason Ko-Fi](https://ko-fi.com/helgaheason)


End file.
